farmer's market

first, there were swarms of stink bugs (I went from never seeing a stink big before to becoming so well-acquainted with them I could probably give all of the west coast an extensive history of the stinkers), and now there are swarms of lady bugs.* we've got eight more days of work here at mt weather and will be heading back to sacramento before we know it.

I'll definitely be missing these autumn leaves, crisp country air, and beautiful scenic drives. 

this past weekend was spent visiting a local farmer's market and browsing the organically grown fruits, vegetables, meats, and gluten free goodies. there were jams of all kinds and jars and jars of apple butter (which is a relatively new concept to me and I am so glad we've been introduced because it is delicious). we ended up buying a large container of unpasteurized apple cider, recommendation courtesy of a FEMA deployment employee. I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful fall weekend.

*I would like to point out that, after an extensive conversation with two of my coworkers, these creatures are not lady bugs. they are, in fact, asian lady beetles. and they bite. 

personal day

with the program, we get three personal days and two life after americorps (laa) days. because I saved all my days until this last deployment (yeah I'm not sure why either) I haven't had a full week of work in the past few weeks, taking a day off per week to take advantage of my allotted days before the program's over. I am enjoying a personal day off today, making myself luxurious big breakfasts (trying to use up the excessive amount of eggs we have...still haven't even made a dent) and buying fudge supplies from big lots across the street while my team is working up at mt weather, deploying reservists and watching as snow flurries fly by their windows. 

some days I am more than ready to be home and in a bed of my own with no reports to write or khakis to wear. other days I am inexplicably content walking the two miles along highway and park paths to old town wearing my collection of goodwill and gabriel brothers' clothing. 

I found out yesterday that I was accepted into nyu's school of social work and will be starting come january. meaning, one: I better get used to this cold weather real fast, and 2: I will only be home for a month and a half after the program ends before I move away. but this time for longer than nine months. there are only 25 more days until I am put on a plane back to southern california and plopped back into the life I lived nine months ago. 

I was talking to my team/room/life mate last night about the way things change and end. it's strange that I lived with these people so closely (and I mean three people to a bed at certain points) for an extended amount of time and experienced things so far out of my comfort zone and gained insight into myself and into others. and we'll all be split and leave each other after the program's graduation in november. and move into new parts of our lives separately. it's all very strange. 

it's especially strange to imagine myself come january in a place to call home for longer than 5-9 weeks at a time. where I'll have my own space and will no longer carry around five ipads and three blackberrys (alright, slight exaggeration...). 

 all I can try to do now is to appreciate every moment I'm fortunate enough to live in. working alongside the warm and welcoming folks in the FEMA deployment branch at mt weather. receiving free meals because the brand new building we work in now (that's still being built as we speak...) is opening a cafeteria on the third floor and the wonderful cooks are trying out new equipment and recipes on us. movie nights via netflix on our little ipad screens after a dinner of steamed veggies and rice. looking up endless no-bake recipes in order to provide ourselves with comfort food after a long day at work as the weather gets colder and colder. trying to convince our coworkers to let us come to work dressed in costumes for halloween. watching as the leaves change from green to orange to yellow to red every single morning on our drive to work. driving along the most beautiful country roads I have ever seen in my life. making new east coast friends who have already impacted my life greatly. being asked "so what is this thing called americorpS" (emphasis on the S). and sitting on my bed on my day off listening to the rustle of leaves outside and feeling the brisk fall air float into our small shared space and being able to be completely still while reflecting on the year I've just had. (now THAT is service learning people: REFLECTING).

(per my mother's request)

I have received a special request from my mother for a blog update...

we have 11 days and some odd hours until we leave the virginia countryside and head back to sacramento. in our van. with our duffels. across the country for the fourth time. I really can't complain though, how many people get to drive cross country, let alone four times. and get to experience so many people and places and homes across several states in only nine and a half months? 

I've been getting emotional thinking about the ending of our program. in 29 days I will sitting in my bedroom. without the presence of seven other teammates. with no hours or quantifiables to count and no nccc position summary paragraphs to submit. able to drive wherever and whenever I need to. 

and that's not even exaggerating. it is only 29 more days. and I'll be back home. in my bed that I don't share and no khakis to look forward to in the morning. 

I can't believe how fast this year has gone by. if I continue to reminisce anymore I'm going to start a cryfest in my  hotel room and I don't have energy for that right now. I'm saving that for november 19th when the friends and family I have met and lived with the past several months have to part ways.

so in the meantime to distract from being sad and emotional....photos of beautiful virginia: 

thursday night

there's something about the freezing rain, blindingly thick fog, uber saturated leaves, and a bag of semi sweet chocolate chips that just makes life absolutely perfect on a thursday night.

I've been looking up no-bake recipes (due to our hotel housing and lack of oven...we do have a stove though!) and will attempt to create s'more fudge tonight. I can't imagine being anywhere else than in my hotel room with my two beautiful team/life/room/bed mates, trying to bring to life a fudge recipe off my phone, listening to a soft pandora station, recounting our FEMA corps tales since day 1.

these are the times I will miss the most. 

in the midst of the government shutdown...

(this post really has nothing to do with the government shutdown so, grams and gramps, if you're reading in hopes of learning some inside info on raising the debt ceiling or the final decisions made on obamacare, 1. you are about to be sorely disappointed by this post, and 2. I am an americorps member and am likely to never have any inside government information despite being affiliated with the government at this point in my life.) 

I just wanted to get on my soapbox for five seconds and write a post about being a person with diabetes living out of a duffel for ten months. if any of my diabetes friends are out there and wondering if you could live out of a duffel for ten months, you definitely can. and if this post reaches no one but myself in five months (yes I'll already be reminiscing in five months I'm sure) then I want to remember that I pulled through the trials and tribulations brought along with this program as a twentysomething but also as a young person with diabetes.

on the 31st of this month (also known as halloween...the biggest sweets day of the year), I will have had diabetes for eleven years of my life. today is just one of the days where I'm reminded I'm diabetic. it's been a combination of exhaustion, cabin fever (for being in the last month or so of the program), and excessive low blood sugars. it's tough when there's so much team planning involved every day for either PT after work or team grocery shopping, etc. sometimes it can be a lot. 

I just mainly want to put the message out into blogging cyberspace that, lifelong illness or not, you can do exactly what you want to do in life if you set your mind to it. yes managing diabetes on the daily in addition to meshing my schedule with those of seven other teammates can be rough and challenging. but things in life will always be rough and challenging. your reality is a reflection of your response to those things. 

there will always be days where you'll wonder why you're the one who has to wait another hour and a half to eat dinner in hopes of your blood sugar coming down or why you're the one who is late to the van in the morning because your pump stopped working and you have to change your site before leaving for work. there will also be days where those things won't happen. you will have good days and bad days no matter where you're at in life, so don't let them hinder you from trying new things (like living on the road for 10 months traveling the country assisting with disaster relief and recovery) and pursuing your dreams..whatever those may be. 

I wanted to write this post to my future self to remind myself of the challenges I've overcome thus far and that I will only continue to do so. don't let yourself think you're in any way less capable of achieving a goal because you have a failed pancreas and a few insulin bottles in your pack. you have as much drive and ambition as the next person. maybe even more so because you have to work to take those few extra steps to count carbs before you leave in the morning and make sure your insulin pump has enough battery life in it. and you don't get a choice whether you want to take those steps or not-they're already decided for you. 

whether you have team PT at a time you're trying to change your insulin pump or you find yourself eating cereal at 3am for a low blood sugar, don't let it get you down. suck down that sugar, bolus those units, put on your steel-toed boots, and get back to work. because there's so much more waiting for you to discover. it can seem overwhelming and it will at times, it really will. but take a breath, tell your teammates to wait for you while you (insert something related to an insulin pump, injection, or testing your blood sugar here), and jump back in. 

this program is one of the best decisions I've made in my life and I don't regret it one bit. 

morning drive

I don't think I'll ever get tired of driving through the changing fall forest on our way to/from work listening to jenny lewis and the lumineers, free hotel coffee in hand.

I've never lived (although temporarily) in some place more beautiful. I feel so lucky to have been here for more than a month already and to be here for 30 days more (unless ts karen gets dramatic and decides to hit the gulf coast and we get deployed...).